Monday, December 31, 2007

this is doug. he told me his story. bless him.

Mental Cleanse: day 4, new year's eve

Esther Schmitt and Isolde Schmitt Mensel, daughter and mother at the New Year's Mental Cleanse for The Work of byron katie.

This thing is a love-fest.  People are doing the work in pairs in the hallways at all hours, appreciation, humor, grief, sadness, anger.  people are dancing in the breaks, massaging, connecting with each others' stories difficulties.

Mental Cleanse: the work of byron katie. day 3

a coupla' participants from boulder:  i, and konstanze

this a.m. I felt so touched by The Work a couple was doing with Katie.
I feel so very grateful to feel infused with love for others, my wish to love others, by watching this couple connect gratefully through telling each other their thoughts and investigating them together.  i feel cracked open.

then in the evening, i did the work with katie and felt armored and angry.  also, i felt love. and was love, with katie and everyone going thru the process with me.  i was seething, quiet in a low quiet rumble in my arms and belly, and i saw lovely eyes in the crowd of people.  here for peace, to understand themselves, wanting to be done with suffering, questioning thoughts meticulously.  one of the points that came up for me: I want to be right at the cost of my happiness.

Sunday, December 30, 2007

The Work with Bryon Katie / The New Year's Mental Cleanse '08

reference avail. at INVESTIGATING THOUGHTS

hello friends, hello family,
i'm at 3rd day of this wonderful true learning of life magic.
magic, inlcuding my experience of hopelessness, jealousy, fear, appreciation,
humor, sadness, and hope and peace.

I'm in a conference room in a hotel in Los Angeles,
with some 300 people.
i just sent an email to my friend bryn and
realised that i want to share with you all.

randomn notes, what
i hear other people saying
and what i am thinking:

if you’re having a nightmare, you want to wake up.
If you’re having a happy dream, you don’t want to wake up.

I’d rather be happy than enlightened.

‘I don’t understand why anyone would want to be with me or know me.’
katie then shortened the thought to
work with ‘ I need to know why people want to be with you’.
is it true?
can you absolutely know that to be true?
no right or wrong answers, just see how your mind works.
this is not a test. don’t plan the test.
3rd que in The Work: how do you react when you think that thought?
look for the negative reactions to work with, positive thoughts of the thought take care of themselves.
4th question: who would you be without the thought?
first turnaround:
‘I need to know why I want to be with me!’
I love being myself being with my grandchildren. I love teaching children how to read.
I want to be with me loving people and me myself.

I’m incredibly generous with my criticism.
it’s bottomless. anytime, I’m available.
and you won’t owe me anything for my service.
this is the generosity I recognise in my self that is available to start with.

Another word for tired is honest. tired of being phony.

‘my intellect got in the way of my heart.’
your intellect got in the way of your truth.
your mind is the pathway to your heart.

I have to go to work.
is that true? did someone make you do it?
I went to work to leave the hell I was in. I wanted out.
but work is still in the hell mind creates.
‘I’m going to work’ , irritated.
turnaround. ‘I’m going to play’. is that true ?

do the formal Work everyday.
I call it the breakfast of champions.
it’s medicine.
thought: I’m terrorized. 
reply:   you are supporting the terrorists.
I don’t have to be concerned how the money comes in.
my job is love.
do the thing in front of you, and love it.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007



Sunday, December 2, 2007


Thursday, November 22, 2007

a berkeley-oakland-sf trip on school break

well, folks.  friends are grand, i say.  doorways into interpretive memory and plain 'ol kindness.

ran into these two yogis at cafe gratitude.  handsome, fun men.  go to jinsung's(the guy on the left) yoga classes oakland

seguin and i went to see my cousin perform with Pina Bausch Wuppertal Tanztheater.  it was viscerally satisfying, wonderful, funny, moving.

bryn, the bryn always glows to me.
my hosts in oakland were thees lovely couple, pete and wren.  it's always a beautiful sigh to cavort with wren.

me fav pizza in this planet of R's.  the cheeseboard co-op.
yup, no boss or managers. worker-owned.  the dough is fabulous sourdough.  there is one vegetarian pizza choice, changing daily.  never disappointing, words do not describe, bien sur. tuesday's pizza was:  Roma Tomatoes, Red Onions, Mozzarella Cheese, Feta Cheese, Lemon Zest, Lemon Juice, Cilantro, Garlic Olive Oil.  simple, sprightly, and savory.

this is me with wren and pete's children.  or at least one of them is officially their child.  

Tuesday, November 13, 2007


アルゼンチンタンゴと言うのは二人が抱擁して音楽といっしょに散歩をする事です。振り付けが決まっているボールルームダンスとは違います。即席の社交ダンスです。体のいちかんけいに概則があり音楽の内に動きます。話無しで相手 と抱擁してタンゴの散歩をする前に自分で 音楽のテンポといっしょに自然体で歩くのを習わなければなりません。きっかりとこの踊りを伝えるために胸を開くのは大切です。音楽の中で踊って喜んで自習できます。人によってはアルセンチンタンゴが禅になります。抱擁で二つの心は向き合います。手堅い抱擁だけじゃなくしなやかな抱擁で一つの心の動きが始めて相手の心に通じさせる事がでくます。その型の中に相手はそっきょうできます。ですのでアルゼンチンタンゴはふかい自習でございます。

check out these two examples of Arg.Tango! The second one is more choreographed:

go to the 3rd video on this page
Donato "De Puro Guappo"!!!!!!!



Saturday, November 10, 2007


this is my friend's friend's baby. i did not ask permission to put this up. i want to share the pure feeling this photo might convey to you. cheers


高校でグループの事で 一回 ろんそうが起きたのをとくべつに よく覚えています。私の友達が学校の新聞きじに同性愛の高校生の話を書きました。その後すぐに 同性愛の人にいくつかの憎悪がこめられた手紙が新聞の教室に来ました。 こういうへんきょうな考え方があるのを分かっていたと思っていたけれど、その手紙で私とどんなに違うモラルを持っている人がいる事に気がついた。一番びっくりした事はその手紙には私の高校に同性愛の人がいないと書かれていました。私の意見以外に同性愛の人がいない事は確かめるのができないと信じていました。普通はグループの境界線がうすいのに、この時私の心はほかの人の心からよく分かれていた。

Saturday, October 27, 2007

このお寺だったかも知らない * double exposure '04

1) aunt noriko and i in front of soto temple in takasaki. possibly where i was introduced to zazen as a child. my baseball coach definitely had been bringing players to this temple says the old obou-san, yet my memory of the building is very different than this otera. 2) second exposure, park in taipei. skyline draws through the temple. dharma sister, heather's umbrella in taipei park held up above and to the left of my head.

Friday, October 26, 2007


十歳の時ぐんま県の高崎市でしんせきと五ヶ月くらしました。野球のチーム入っていました。ある日、チームの練習日でどこへ行くか分からなかったけどさんぽを初めました。だらだら軍人のように行進していました。しばらくして、きれいな建物につきました。お寺のようなビルでした。中にはいったらくつをぬいで、日本語がよく分からなくてチームのやることをめねしました。部屋に入ったらかべのとなりの長いテーブルのような組み立て物に上って、顔と体をかべに向けました。とても静かになって、みんなのようにぼうしがぬいでただ座っていた。 言葉のせつめが無しで、話よりもっとふかく習いましたと思います。目で見て耳で静けさを聞いて体を感じていました。ただ座るだけのやることがあるのがびっくりしました。私はおとなになったら、ゆううつの問題で座禅はたすけました。

Wednesday, October 24, 2007


Monday, October 22, 2007

Saturday, September 22, 2007

私はアメリカに生まれました。だから私は二世と言います。よろしくお願いします。here's a recentt pic with my sis', Maya.